This song represents a time where I was absolutely lost and confused within my own mind, within my life's circumstances. I'd sent my wife and my daughter out to her parents' while I took some time to get my *head clear* ... moving to the city for a bit. The distance only obscured things further. Instead of clearing my head it only made everything that much more abstract. I felt like I was losing it. My time and attendance slipped at the job and I'd already given my two week's notice from so it wasn't a good look at all.
On the particular day I started writing this song I had already overslept and I woke up rushing so I didn't stop for gas on the way in... I was already on 'E' and my car ran out of gas on the interstate on the way from Pennsylvania to New Jersey. I sat roadside reflecting on how everything was slipping into oblivion with my hazard lights on until the battery of the car died as well. It was a point where I just wanted to be done with EVERYTHING and disappear. I hated my job, I wasn't bringing in enough to get the bills paid. I vividly remember feeling absolutely naked and alone as I attempted to flag down car after car on the highway only to have them pass me by as if I didn't even exist.
I don't even remember if I didn't have a cell phone or my cellphone was off or it had no reception, or it simply had died ... but that wasn't an option.
I made my way up the interstate and just as I started out, a tow truck pulled up and hitched me.
Aside from the humiliation I'd faced at work when I got in about four or five hours late which only compounded the feeling that my life desperately needed to be reorganized and I needed to get my shit together, the situation was worked out, that day... when i got back to the place in Philly that night, I wrote this song.
I thought I'd found the Light; but I realized I was still groping around in utter darkness. . .
Give it a listen.
released October 31, 2010
Songwriting by Photon
Vocal Performance by Photon, FeelFelt
Instrumental Composed by Vherbal